Amuse-gueule

I wrote this for a story challenge on a sci-fi blog called The World in a Satin Bag. The story challenge is as follows: write "A steampunk culinary cat mystery involving manga in 300 words or less."

I'm quite happy with the results, I think. (I hope.)


Amuse-gueule


The woman walked out of the steam billowing over the dirigible platform. Cradling an exotic shorthair cat in her muscular arms, she looked down after shyly meeting my gaze. The edges of her angularly-cut hair slid over her face in perfumed curtains.

Twin swords were laced into her striped corset. Her skirts looked more like petticoats than proper wear for a young lady. By God, she was half-naked, her legs and feet bare. I couldn’t stop looking.

She was perfect, my own personal manga heroine come to life.

I cleared my throat. "You know why you are here?" I asked.

She raised her eyebrow and the cat yawned. "It’s no mystery to me," she said.

"You’ll do it? Kill my wife?" I said, smoothing my cravat nervously, unable to quell my hands. "You do realize how evil she is?"

The assassin pulled out a lacquered keypad. Tiny puffs of steam huffed out of the device as she tapped the ivory keys. She held out the keypad and a stylus. "Please sign the screen," she said, biting her lip, for all the world as if anticipating some pleasure she wasn’t sure that she would receive.

I signed with a flourish. She grabbed my arm in a fierce pinch, dragging me up into the dirigible’s stateroom. "I say, my dear girl—" My words jammed in my soft palate.

I was facing my wife. She was, incongruously, carrying a spoon.

"I’m not sure I need to watch—" I said. The swords came down upon my skull, slicing my scalp, leaving my brain intact, if exposed.

"He consented?" my wife hissed.

"He signed the contract."

"Excellent. A willing victim increases the salutary effects for zombies such as ourselves."

My wife’s spoon dipped into my brains. She fed the assassin’s cat first.